#i really do need a season 2 right now
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bahoreal · 2 months ago
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while i enjoy having a basically aromantic middle aged main character i also kind of want him to fall in love with dci carter. he deserves to get that old man.
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fifthnailinstevesbat · 25 days ago
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thinking of a new steddie fic/au hmmm.
It’s just the classic, Steve buys weed from Eddie in season 1 era, he and Tommy meet him at the bench in the woods behind school. Steve and Eddie have some playful banter and clearly get along, but it’s dismissed as just a drug deal and they go on about their lives.
Next time they meet is when a frantic Steve comes and finds Eddie after he’s just fought off the demogorgon for the first time. He’s rattled, and skittish, wearing a nasty black bruise on his eye, and just overall not acting like himself. He snaps at Eddie multiple times to just ‘hurry up’ and ‘get him his stuff’, and sure he’s being an asshole, but more than anything Eddie is just concerned. He has never seen The King Steve Harrington lose his cool like this. So Eddie cautiously gives him the weed, making sure not to give too much, and lets him go about his day, but not before asking if he’s alright. Steve clearly wasn’t expecting this and brushes it off defensively, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it for the rest of his week. How the hell did Eddie Munson notice something was wrong, when his own parents didn’t? Nor his “friends”?
They cross paths again a year later, the beginning of season two. Steve is still with Nancy and has freshly dumped his old douchebag crew of superficial friends. He is still sitting quite comfortably on the higher ranks of popularity, but there is no denying his status is not what it used to be. He comes to buy weed from Eddie in the first week back at school, and it’s a casual interaction. He’s still as charmingly stuck up as he ever was, but now without Tommy there to judge his every move, he seems a little more at ease when making casual conversation with Eddie. Eddie doesn’t mention the year before and Steve is so glad for it, secretly very embarrassed that he went to Eddie for some refuge after arguably his most traumatic experience to date. He gets his stuff, giving Eddie a smirk when he notices he’s dropped the price significantly for Steve when it’s just him alone. Eddie gives him a challenging smile back, almost daring him to call it out, but he doesn’t. They both just laugh and part ways.
The next run in is tina’s halloween party. They notice eachother when Steve first arrives, making eye contact and giving a polite nod. Maybe Eddie lifts his drink up to Steve in a silly salute. They don’t speak at all or make any effort to hang around eachother. That is, until Steve storms down the stairs in a rage after he’d gone up there with Nancy Wheeler. But then are those- tears? Eddie was standing on the front porch smoking a cigarette, trying to discreetly hide from one Billy Hargrove to avoid having to sell him anything, but staying visible enough that he won’t lose all chances of making any money tonight. Steve storms right past him and hits his shoulder. Eddie whips around and is about to call him a dick before he sees who it is.
Steve tries to quickly wipe his face, he won’t make eye contact with Eddie, and he’s clearly trying to get out as fast as he can. Eddie doesn’t let him, though, since he’s obviously not thinking very clearly and is most likely about to do something emotional and stupid. He asks if Steve’s alright, and his answers are all short and rushed, so he’s definitely not. They’re not really friends, but Eddie’s not an asshole.
— “Did you drive?” Eddie asks
“Yeah”
“Well, you’re drunk, Steve. You can’t get behind a wheel right now. And if I knowingly let you, then that makes me an accomplice. I’ll take you home.”
Steve tries to protest, attempting to push past him, but Eddie interjects. “Yeah, yeah, alright! Don’t thank me yet, Steve’o. This is not for you, see, I’m not trying to get a criminal record, here. I cant go to prison, Steve. Do you know what they’d do to a pretty guy like me in prison? Nope, let’s go hot stuff.” —
Eddie takes Steve home. They don’t talk much. By the time they reach Steve’s drive way and Eddie has put his van in park, Steve is making no attempt to exit the vehicle just yet. Eddie doesn’t know what to do, he didn’t really plan this far, so he’s just tapping away awkwardly at his steering wheel while Harrington stares down the dashboard so clearly lost in thought Eddie fears his head might explode. Steve tells Eddie what happened, says it’s ‘relationship troubles’, and he’s not quite sure what compelled him into being so honest with Eddie Munson, but he’s blaming the alcohol. Eddie wasn’t expecting that. They chat for a bit, Eddie makes Steve laugh and considers the whole night a success after that. Then they start cracking jokes about their shared hatred for Hargrove, and Steve looks and sounds a bit more ok to go inside. He thanks Eddie, quite sincerely actually, and it throws him a bit. He stutters a ‘yeah, for sure. It’s no problem.’ And Steve goes home.
After that, it’s a little different. Steve, doesn’t actually really have anyone, anymore. When they go back to school he’s now greeting Eddie here and there in the hallways, making conversation when they find themselves alone together, in the lunch line or at the bathroom sink. He doesn’t approach Eddie when there’s too many people around, though. As much as he’s grown, Steve Harrington still carry’s some prejudice in him about how certain things may make him look. But it doesn’t bother Eddie too much. It’s not like they are really friends, they’re just like, strange acquaintances. And Steve would never deny that they get along, that really Eddie’s ‘not so bad’. So that’s a win.
Steve finds Eddie again not long after the party to buy some more weed, a plan that sparked purely out of boredom. Eddie says yes, of course, but tells him if he wants it today he will need to wait till after school and meet Eddie at his place, since he was busy. So Steve takes a trip to the Munson trailer to make his deal. Eddie invites him inside and they sit together on the couch as he gets Steve’s bag ready. They end up making quite pleasant conversation, joking around and ultimately finding they are really enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy it so much so, that Steve ends up smoking there, with Eddie. So now they are kind of like, hanging out? And it’s fun, so they do it again. Still they’re not, friends friends, they just get along. Eddie just sells Steve weed sometimes and they keep it civil.
He doesn’t hear from Steve for a while, and the next time he sees him it’s from a distance, in passing. The man has the most roughed up face Eddie has ever seen, bruised and swollen in multiple areas, stitches and bandages all over. It’s really, concerning? completely metal, but alarming. This is the second time Eddie has seen the guy all beaten up like that. He knew that boys fight, but surely not that bad? As worried as he was, Eddie doesn’t approach him to ask questions, because they don’t know eachother like that. So he goes on about his day, and he doesn’t see Steve again after that for quite some time.
Then it’s summer, Eddie isn’t graduating again, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself over the break. The new mall has just opened up, and there’s a cool music store up on the second floor that he likes to visit sometimes with his band friends. And wouldn’t you know, working at the Scoops Ahoy located directly across from his favourite store, is Steve Harrington. The guy hasn’t come to Eddie for any weed since last year, and then there was that sighting where he looked like he’d just fallen face first into a flying fist or two, so it’s been a minute since Eddie’s seen him. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice surprise. He only goes into scoops once. He’s curious, okay? Sue him. And, he knows the girl who works with him, Robin. So he plays it off like he had no idea he’d see Steve there. And to his surprise, Steve actually acknowledges him. He doesn’t act like Eddie is a total stranger just because they’re not in school anymore. The interaction is quick, they make very casual conversation, Eddie says hi to Robin, grabs his milkshake and goes home. That’s all. He doesn’t go back, and he doesn’t really plan to. Steve’s nice, and he knows Eddie’s around if he needs to buy from him again, and that’s really as far as their relationship goes. That’s all it ever was. It’s been fun getting to know Steve Harrington a little bit better, even if it was just for a short time. Eddie liked having the chance to see in past the quaffed hair and pressed polo shirts to learn that Steve was really just a person under it all. He never thought he’d say it, but Harrington wasn’t so bad. It was a nice little eye opening experience for Eddie.
Eddie was ready to write off his little blips of interaction with Steve Harrington as a thing of the past, no hard feelings, and move on with his life. That is, until he gets a knock at his front door in the middle of the night afew days after the big mall fire. And it’s Steve on the other side. And he looks awful, his face is the worst Eddie’s ever seen it. And he wasn’t really knocking, more like pounding. He says he needs Eddie’s help.
What the fuck?
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lunarharp · 1 year ago
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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ruvviks · 7 months ago
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All That's Left follows two journalists and their friends in post-apocalyptic United States as they travel from the fallen east coast megalopolis Opportunity back to Los Angeles, crossing through a harsh wasteland overrun with zombies— only to find out that there is a lot more life left than what the protected cities want them to believe. On their journey they meet dozens of people living their lives as peaceful as possible away from military forces, corporations, and corrupt governments; and they learn that the same mutated ghouls that took down Opportunity are spreading rapidly through the country, destroying everything in their path. Will this finally be the end of the world as we know it?
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#all that's left#edit:misc#nuclearedits#so um. hi. this is an original story i've been working on since 2016 and i love it so so much. sorry#it's not a tv show but i would love for it to be a tv show do you understand. my vision. are you seeing the vibes of this#it's BRIGHT. it's COLORFUL. it's FUN. there's so many cool characters and it's focused a lot on like#the connections between the main characters and all that#mac and layla (the journalists) go from having to write about this megalopolis which. if anything is just. a city version of a nepo baby#to writing about the people who are still living out there who are being completely overlooked by the safe cities and everything#everything really is not that bad out there!! in fact all of the misery that IS still in the wasteland is created specifically by like#the safe cities who keep snatching away supply drops from people who need it etc etc. and governments pretending that#there's no smaller settlements out there anymore and all that#and also there's zombies. ghouls. i call them ghouls but they have many funky names across the whole world in this universe#anyway yeah there's a lot more to this universe already because well 8 years in the making LMAO so i have another edit incoming#for the fictional season 2. aka book 2. yes there's a book 2. there's also a book 3 and 4. sorry for being insane#the linked playlists has songs for book 1-3 right now :]#if you have any questions PLEAAASSEEEE send me asks. preferably asks and not dms because tumblr dms suck ass#but i would love to talk more about this :^)
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dontwanderoff · 1 year ago
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it's interesting looking back on dale's apartment (cozy and warm and filled with SO much personality) and then knowing that when they move in together, you don't see much of a change to helen's house. you don't really see any dale in there.
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talkorsomething · 6 months ago
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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hamletshoeratio · 7 months ago
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The difference in how Hen and Eddie's cheating is treated/being treated by the fandom v how Buck's is... I wonder why...
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mossiestpiglet · 1 year ago
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Frenchie pressing in close but keeping Fang’s arm between him and Izzy is such a smart and kind move. He understands that no one but Fang can hold Izzy like that and have it work, but he still wants to express his support with physical proximity. He gets as close as he can while still affording Izzy the barrier that is Fang, and it’s so gentle and shows an emotional and situational awareness that is integral to Frenchie as a character.
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omnipotent-omnicube · 22 days ago
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blue exorcist brainworms are guaranteed to make their way back, and content for the link click yingdu chapter (and likely release at the end of the year) will bring back the link click obsession. AND THE .FLOW BRAINWORMS ARE BACK
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bylertruther · 2 years ago
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i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.
#rewatching it bc i wanted to make another foreshadowing compilation post for myself regarding what will's actions will#likely be in season five re: vecna and lmao. so many things are just... it's like. it makes me laugh how In Your Face it is now#that we know all that we know. so many direct parallels both with dialogue and actions. mike/will/lucas/el foreshadowing their s4 roles.#the flaying of the holloways and the creels. the dormancy / activation shit. the building shit. the natural progression of their arcs.#the different ways that their characters approach problem solving and how we see tht reinforced by s4. it's so fascinating#genuinely i think idk it was just such a big culture shock i guess u could say from 1 and 2 that it was hard to digest on its own for me#but now that 4 is in the same vein it's like Oh. Okay. Yeah no. I get it now. That's cool. I'm forever bitter but I get it and respect it.#3 4 and 5 are a package deal considering they also said 4 was like part 1 of 5.#it also makes sense bc the point of 3 was that everyone was changing and building themselves in a new way and that#includes vecna so. just so fascinating how they link everything and how their vision is so consistent with certain plots and characters#like. the lucas max mike n will + el involvement is right there. the idea that they have to kill vecna and not just his puppets is right#there. that 2nd point starts in season two but three is where it really turns into an ''the end justifies the means'' situation#(especially for will which i think is something a lot of people overlook but—)#s3 is painful when considering their personal character arcs but fucking delicious when considering the overarching supernatural vecna plot#bc thts also when he starts his ''there is no stopping this'' shtick and actually enters the story#and he's fucking slimy lol. which i Love#anyway. omg first i defended mike in the rain fight and now i'm saying i kind of like season three who the FUCK am i!!!!!#crazy what feeling the need to defend a white boy's honor will do to you 😳
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madegeeky · 5 months ago
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Hannibal (the TV series) seasons in one sentence:
Season 1: The least amount of police procedural you will ever see in a police procedural.
Season 2: Reins are off now, fuckers, let's do some goddamn character work!
Season 3: Wherein the first half is Hannibal writing fanfiction and the second half has completely new main characters.
#geeky talks#geeky talks hannibal#this just popped into my head#this was a very good series but it is a wild fucking ride#various notes about my sentences#season 1's sentence is because the writer of show didn't want to do a police procedural#it is absolutely hilarious to watch with that in mind#because you can watch as he does less and less of it each episode#season 2 is absolutely the best season because he finally got to do what he wanted which was character work#if you don't like character work you're going to fucking *hate* season 2#there's probably a decent chance you won't like the ending of season 1 either#season 3 is fucking wild#it wasn't necessarily bad but it definitely wasn't what i'd call anywhere near the standards of the second season#but geeky what do you mean by hannibal writes fanfiction#listen this is impossible to explain unless you've seen the third season#but i feel like if you've watched the third season you're just nodding your head right now all#yep that sounds about right#the last half of season 3 is honestly pretty disappointing#hannibal and will are just basically not in it#it's such a bizarre choice for a last season of a tv show where the entire show was based around hannibal and will#i can't remember if i read this somewhere or if it's just speculation (which i feel is supported by the season)#but the writer really wanted to do red dragon and just ran out of time#so instead of just shrugging and saying ah well and writing something else#he felt the need to jam the entire book in the second half of season 3#so it's all about the characters from red dragon and will and hannibal are also there sometimes#did really love the actual ending of the show though
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starlooove · 6 months ago
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And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise
#Ppl calling her feminism white feminism#like yeah for todays standards sure whatever#my feelings on Eloise are complicated but a lot of y’all’s feminism is whether u think Barbie was good and that’s how ur measuring Eloise#like this little girls girl shit is right next to thinking Barbie is a masterpiece is right next to saying here’s my 20 step skincare#routing but it’s for yourself not for men but also here’s how to walk and make eye contact to manipulate a man ;3#like It’s so funny how everyone was mad Eloise didn’t put action to the thoughts#which season 2 was all about btw like I feel like ppl also misunderstand the point of her character and what’s happening internally but diff#and now theyre saying she’s an asshole for shifting topics of convo within her group of peers#when that’s proof that she cannot assimilate the way y’all say she does?#like yuckk#Idk I feel like the visceral reaction to Eloise just feels like ‘if feminist why care about ur dad 🤨’#i was gonna say y’all want Eloise to cut off all ties with her family and start connecting to those of lower classes#but when she did anything CLOSE to that y’all STILL called her an asshole#also you know what you’re walking into when you’re watching bridgerton it was way too early to keep her there you KNOW that#but also also Penelope has been trying to find her niche and balance her family’s reputation with her ideals the entire time#and it does come off as hypocritical and self centered at times just as every single character on this show has!#i said Penelope I meant Eloise it still applies but whatever#anyways#yeah season 2 she came to the conclusion y’all did#that she wasn’t really about it and she should stick to high society#‘she was such an asshole this season’ bc she in fact does believe what she preaches and found ignoring it to be difficult#like y’all are just saying she’s a bad person no she was uncomfortable and response was to be snappy like hello#like this dramatic shift in her character is bc of the trouble she caused her family by trying to stand on business#like when it comes to interpersonal relationships Eloise suffers from the fact that not everyone comes to the same conclusions she does#like she told Benedict she can’t understand how nobody sees what she sees#but that’s not true a lot of people see what she sees#Cressida saw what she sees! what Eloise DOESNT understand is that other ppl come to diff conclusions with the same knowledge!#other ppl see the same thing and choose to flourish within the system no questions! bc they don’t have the privilege to do anything else!#THATS where she needs to grow! the obvious conclusion IS obvious but what to do after is mot the same or available to everyone!#but thats like. the most positive of my feelings towards her it is complicated I’m just being nice rn
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katierosefun · 7 months ago
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watching the walking dead as someone who despises jump scares and also zombies is just like. i keep skipping past the really gory scenes. also omg glenn rhee i love u glen rhee :)))) [grows attached to a character] [looks up if they're going to die in this episode] [looks up the entire plot of an episode before watching] repeat.
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palamedes-top-nerd-facts · 2 years ago
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walking into the writer’s room for succession and asking everyone who’s writing from their own personal experiences of having an abusive father to raise their hand
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deathbxnny · 14 days ago
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Arcane characters saying things they'll regret during an argument with you. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader
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(Part two)
Because if I can't be happy, then neither can you./j✨️
Content: Alcoholism, spoilers for season 2, heavy angst, toxic behavior, cursing, established romantic relationships, potential mentions of cheating, gaslighting/ manipulation, probably ooc idk, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》VI
You hated the cycle she had trapped herself in. It was never-ending and beyond self-destructive. For a while, you tried to get her out of it by attempting to reason with her, show her the light, tell her that everything is going to be okay and to just stop with the senseless fighting. But then the heavy, out of control drinking began, and she became unrecognizable to you.
She barely spent time with you, and when she did, then it was due to an extreme hangover that you had to nurture her through before the next fight began. You were so sick of it. You couldn't take the state she was in anymore. You wanted your girlfriend back but didn't want to suffer anymore as a result of it. And so, you tried one last time to snap her out of it.
"Hey, uhm... can we talk?" You ask nervously whilst peering at her from the doorway into her room. The roaring of the crowd and indistinguishable words of the announcers buzzed over your heads, reminding you of the timelimit you had to do this right. Vi didn't turn to you and instead focused on smearing the black paint over her eyes, a dark gaze glance cast your way at your meek plea. "Make it quick. I got 10 minutes before I have to be out there again."
You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the coldness in her tone. It was so odd, so not like her. "Vi... I... I need you to stop this. I understand your pain. I really do, I... get it. But this isn't right. You're practically killing yourself here, and I can't take that anymore-" "-This topic again? I told you to fucking drop it already." She hissed with a shake of your head and something about that made you finally snap. "I care about you Vi! That's why I'm doing all of this shit for you. No one else would do as much as I did. Why can't you see that? What the hell happened to you-" Your voice was cut off by her hand slamming into a nearby wall, anger written all over her face that made you flinch away instinctively.
You had never been scared of her before and this just broke your heart further.
"Shut up! You haven't done shit for me, except for pissing me off and whining and crying about every little thing I do! How about you fuck off and leave me the hell alone instead!? The only person who ever did shit for me is Cait and look how that turned out!" Silence. Deafening silence. Except for Vi's heavy breathing. You were rendered speechless. All the years you've spent with her at her side even as children flashed through your mind, before it all stilled and went cold. Your gaze hardened, and you nodded slowly, turning away wordlessly to do as she asked. You understood now. You were always the second choice in the end.
Vi seemed to only notice that you've left once she heard her name being called from the ring above. And her heart sunk at the realisation that this time, you wouldn't be there to watch her win.
And so she didn't.
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》CAITLYN
Zaun was becoming a sensitive and dangerous topic to bring up around her. Even the slightest mention of it made her face harden and earn you a dismissive hand waving all of your protests away. It also didn't help that she was pulling away from you and instead getting closer to a certain red-headed officer of hers. It was frustrating and so exhausting to deal with, on top of all the grief that hung over your heads constantly. It was driving you mad. Nothing you said got through to her.
It wasn't a secret that you disapproved of the war and the alliance with Ambessa. You could look right through her, see with a clear mind that she was up to no good. Whatever she had planned wouldn't bring either nation anything but more plight. This wasn't the right way to go about things. It wasn't humane. The people she hated were no different from you both. But she just couldn't see it the same way, her judgment clouded heavily by her need for revenge on Jinx. A singular person had shifted her perception about a whole group of people... and it was becoming suffocating. You couldn't recognize her anymore.
You were trying to find the right time to finally confront her about it fully, and thankfully, the opportunity came up one evening whilst she was going through paperwork in her office. You were pacing nervously around the room, trying to find the courage to speak your mind, but she beat you to it. "If you have something to say, then say it. I have work to do and can not be disturbed like this." She muttered, eyes focused on the sea of papers before her rather than your stilling form. Very well, she asked for it. "I... want this war to end. This isn't right."
Her hand froze before she hummed and resumed her task. "I thought we had moved on from this topic." She said calmly, not betraying how clearly irritated she was becoming. But you couldn't give up now. You'd go crazy if you did. "Caitlyn. There is no moving on from it if people are going to die as a consequence! How could you ever look away from that? Why can't you see that this is wrong? Why can't you see that Ambessa-" You stepped towards her grand desk with every word, hands coming down to push the paper she was holding away from her face. You just wanted her to finally look at you again after so long. "-Is playing with your mind!" "Enough. Don't you dare say another word."
The Kirammann stood up and towered over you, a strong hand grabbing onto your arm with a sharp shake that surprised you. Had the grief taken over her mind this badly? So much so that she couldn't see how much this was hurting you to lose her? "I demand you see reason and stop sympathizing with those treacherous animals... unless you want me to see you as one of them as well." "You think I'd betray you?" You breathed, and suddenly the realisation that you had lost her for good finally sunk in. You needed to go. Now.
Caitlyn's face sobered up at your question, yet before she could say a thing, her dear officer Nolan stepped in with a report in hand. Seeing the position you two were in, she nervously tilted her head. "Oh, my apologies, am I disturbing you-?" "-Not at all. In fact, I'm the one who's disturbing YOU. My apologies for that." Ripping your arm out of her gloved hand, you pushed past the girl and rushed out of the room.
Your girlfriend watched you disappear down the dark hallway before she straightened up and gave the officer a curt nod to go ahead with her report. But it was hard to listen to a word she was saying when Caitlyn's head was replaying the memory of your teary, heartbroken eyes over and over again.
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》JINX
She didn't care about her life anymore. That was clear as day, and unfortunately, your relationship was suffering because of it. You knew that Silco's death had killed her inside, that his absence left her lost and confused. But you were so desperate to keep her together. So much so that you were practically destroying yourself for her well-being. Eventually, this boiled over when she was beginning to pull away from you. You, who had always been there. You, who she always cringed onto and begged to stay with her. You only had eachother now. It was impossible to think about a life without her now.
The unhinged spark in her eye had faded away and was replaced by an empty shell of what it once was. That scared you more than you'd like to admit. "Jinx... what are you thinking of?" You asked her one night whilst you quietly snuk around the dark lanes of your home. She didn't respond at first, and your eyes were focused on the back of her hooded head, wondering if she even heard you. But you know she had, when she came to a sudden stop. "... I... I think we should part ways, sweetheart. This ain't gonna go over well forever." She said in that hauntingly calm voice you've grown to hate. And you'd be lying if you said that you didn't see this coming.
"But why? We've always been together through everything. This isn't any different-" "-But it is! It's over! Jinx is over!" Facing you, you near flinched at her glowing, violet eyes, heart beating against your chest. She would never hurt you. You knew she wouldn't. And yet... you found yourself ever so slightly stepping away. Maybe that's what set her off in hindsight. "You're gonna leave me like everyone else anyway. Might as well beat ya to it-" "-I would never do that! What has gotten into you? You should know better than to think that-" "-You're scared of me, ain't ya?" You pressed your lips together when you realised that her mental state had gotten much worse than you expected.
She was losing it.
"In fact, I bet you're thinking of me the same way Vi does. You'll be so much happier without me. But... actually... what if you're going to backstab me like her one day?" The look on your face must've been horrific enough to sober her scrambled mind then because even she seemed to be unsure of what she's saying. And yes, you knew she wasn't doing well. You knew she was just saying things without thinking them through. But you were sick of it. So tired of it all. She could practically read your mind.
"W-wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I-" "-Okay... you're right. We truly would be better off going our separate ways." You were stepping away from her quicker now, and then you were running, your view becoming blurry and unintelligible. "WAIT NO, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I-" Jinx screamed after you, her breathing heavy and uneven, but she didn't go after you. She knew she had lost that right the second she opened her mouth.
You disappeared into the lanes, for the first time ever sprinting away from rather than towards her. And like the Jinx she was, she had screwed up another good thing up for herself. Perhaps deservingly this time.
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》EKKO
Ekko was extremely busy with his duties lately and practically completely neglecting himself for them. It was very concerning to you and everyone, to say the least. Especially now that a war was practically forming at your front door from Piltover. And you were grateful and thankful for all he did for you. You really were. For that reason alone, you wanted him to take things easy at least sometimes to eat and sleep properly when he can. So, on the request of other members, you went to go looking for him one night before it was time for bed. He was sitting up in the tree, clearly planning to keep watch all night, like he usually did.
But you had come with a mission of your own and refused to leave until he came down to bed with you. "Ekko." You hummed as you finally reached him, a friendly smile on your lips. Balancing a nice basket of baked goods you had made yourself, you stepped towards his form that was beautifully illuminated in the moonlight. Seeing him here made you feel content and relieved since you were barely seeing each other to begin with anymore. Which you have been trying to be understanding about.
"I know what you're here for, and the answer is still no." The young man sighed with a shake of his head and frown. You weren't the first one to come by, that's for sure. "Hey... you know this isn't healthy. We're counting on you to stay strong for us, and you can't be that if you're starving yourself." You say with a slight falter to your smile, yet you tried to keep your tone playful and light. He, on the other hand, did not.
"I already told you that it's a no. Now go to bed and let me work." "But I made you these and-" "-I said, no." He hissed out, and that took you aback. He never raised his voice at you, nor did he ever have an attitude with you either. But the stress was getting to him badly, and so was the lack of sleep. "Why can't you just get that? How many times do I have to say it to get it through your thick skull? The least you could do is go and make yourself somewhat useful by patrolling, instead of wasting your time with this."
Oh, how his words cut you deep. Rationally, you knew that everything was just getting too much for him. But it didn't stop you from feeling hurt anyway, as your lip wobbled, and you slammed the basket on a nearby desk before quickly taking your leave wordlessly. Ekko froze at that and reached out to you, your name on the tip of his tongue, but the guilt stopped him from saying a thing.
"Fuck!" He cursed at himself, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with a disappointed sigh. He definitely was losing it... and you unfortunately had to unfairly take the brunt of it.
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》SEVIKA
"What did I tell you about running off when I tell you to stay put? You could have fucking died out there and then what?" Sevika was angry at you. Not that you could necessarily blame her since you did nearly get killed by an Enforcer earlier. But you had no real choice in this. You swore you didn't mean for this to happen. It was supposed to just be a quick errand run. You wanted to make her something nice for dinner, spoil her a little as a thank you for all the work she was putting into Zaun. Yet you couldn't explain any of this with the way she didn't let you even say a word now from the anger running in her veins. In fact, you had never seen her this enraged before.
"I am sick and tired of you disobeying what I tell you. I can't always be there and save you from everything, you know? I got better things to do and than to babysit you all the time-" "- I'm not asking you to do that either! I'm a grown adult, I can take care of myself!" You yelled back, absolutely angry now yourself at the way she always infantilized you like this. It always the same conversation and argument over and over again. You were so sick of it. You could handle yourself just fine and have proved this before. Yet she was so hellbent on proving you wrong every time, you couldn't take it anymore!
"I'm your partner, Sev. You're supposed to treat me like an equal." "I would, if you weren't so fucking incompetent. If I wasn't there, you would've been dead. Why can't you get that? Should I spell it out for you more? Dumb it down even more?" You hated when she was being like this. It was rare for a reason, and you despised this side of her. The side that was so prideful and egotistical. And you were trying so hard not to stoop to her level. It didn't help that you were a little injured and struggling to stand as is. "I'm not in the mood for this shit, I'm literally bleeding. Can we argue about this later, please? I just wanted to surprise you with something nice for once, and I get that I was wrong, but you don't have to be so mean about it, damn it!"
The tears in your eyes were betraying you, and the embarrassment of that just made you push past her and disappear into your shared bedroom. You'll just deal with the injury yourself. Sevika stared after you in slight surprise, considering it was rare for you to yell back like that and cry at that... but the sight of the flowers and half prepared food on the kitchen counter made the regret finally set in.
Perhaps you were right after all.
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youremyonlyhope · 1 year ago
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Me: *Feels slightly good about something in my life* Life: Hmm. Nope. *Reminds me of things I should have been a part of but aren't* Me: ...Thanks.
#tonight is a rough-ish night#tomorrow should be better#i need to go to bed#i'm emotionally fragile because i've been watching ugly betty and while parts of it have not aged well AT ALL#there is still a lot of heart in this show and i'm like 5 episodes away from finishing season 1#and the last couple of episodes had some really nice moments and yeah i'm emotionally fragile from it#then i go to instagram and see a post about a production i should have been a part of but ultimately was not#and i'm just like... why... i SHOULD have been there...#not even a rejection. just limbo. ignored. i'd have rather they just said no to me. instead of never answering.#tomorrow i see the kids i'm designing a show for and that's the only thing i really can look forward to right now#so at least that will make me feel productive about life and that i'm doing something. at least for the morning.#then my brother wants me to go to his friendsgiving but if i go his friends will be like 'so what are you up to'#and i have to say basically nothing. for the last month. nothing.#so i don't want to go but i don't really have a good reason NOT to#god i just had flashbacks because i was like 'i can't even think of the last time i just heard nothing about a production'#but no i can. because that was 2 months before this. so. that still hurts. i've already began blocking it out. not a good sign.#and then the only other time before that was in the most chaotic summer of my life#and THAT'S what caused the flashbacks just now and made me stare into space for a good 30 seconds#remembering it all and ahhhhh things i don't want to think about ahhhhhhhhhh#ugh. ok. i'm going to bed. i'm taking my gabapentin and going to bed.#and hopefully i wake up on time since the last few days i've slept in late due to being near-depressed yayyyy life sucks#and now i have a headache woohoo
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